Since 2023, Pole & Aerial Divas has been a proud corporate sponsor of Friends with Dignity, helping to raise funds and awareness through events, workshops, in-studio collections, and more. As part of this partnership, we wanted to have a chat with Friends with Dignity CEO, Manuela Whitford, to learn more about her history and how Friends with Dignity came to be. Friends with Dignity is a collaborative not-for-profit that improves the quality of life for adults and children impacted by domestic violence. They achieve this through their Sanctuary and Little Friends programs as well as scholarships and urgent requests.
From Survival to Advocacy: A Journey Across Continents
“We’re now in our 10th year [as Friends with Dignity]. I’ve been doing this now for 13 years in the space of domestic violence,” Manuela tell Divas. A registered nurse from South Africa, Manuela and her family moved to Australia in 2010 after she experienced her own assault. “It really made us just rethink our lives, and go, we just don’t want to be another statistic of what’s happening in South Africa. So we just uprooted, left family, friends, everything we knew behind, and started fresh in Australia.”
After moving to Queensland, she was offered a position within a corrections facility. “It’s really ironic that we were leaving a violent sort of country to come and work in the prison system. But it was certainly a very rewarding time for me.”
However, working in the prison system opened Manuela’s eyes to a new, more insidious sort of violence. “It was a very big learning curve of just what was happening here. In a place that I sought refuge, I suppose, for myself and my family, finding that violence was really quite alive here in Australia, but more so of an intrusive kind”
Uncovering the Hidden Epidemic: The Cycle of Domestic Violence in Australia
Manuela quickly learnt what most of us have come to learn, that Australia has an epidemic with domestic and family violence. “The violence I and others faced in South Africa was really from strangers; it was perpetuated by people we didn’t know.”
“It was really more in the community space wherever you’d go. However, the violence I was learning about, the abuse that people were facing here in Australia was happening in a place that I would feel was a place of safety, a place that I would find love and comfort.”
“These people were being faced with violence and abuse every single day, whether it was from a family member, a close friend, a father, a mother, a grandmother even. It was really confronting for me, and quite overwhelming.”
It was hearing about these experiences that led Manuela to start researching domestic violence. “There was a lot when I was working in the women’s prison, it was one in three that were [experiencing] it.”
“Having had that trauma passed down, that violence in their in their lives, they then themselves were becoming perpetrators, which was then showing us that the cycle was continuing, the behaviours were entrenched.”
“Violence, we know, is a choice. However, it is a behaviour that is learnt, and to break that cycle is really difficult, because it’s what they know, it’s what they revert to in times of stress.”
Breaking the Cycle: Turning Compassion into Action
Recognising that there’s an issue is one thing, but it raises the question, how does one break the cycle of violence? “It is very difficult, and it is very intergenerational. It’s going to take years to form that change.”
The deeper she went into her research, the more it triggered thoughts of her own assault. “I went, you know, people were standing around and I’m going why aren’t you stopping this? Why aren’t you getting involved?”
“It’s because of their own self-care, their own fear of getting involved and [thinking] what can they do at the time? People feel like their hands are tied, you know, they’re only one person.”
“On that reflection, I had to [understand] where there was a gap, and what my capacity was within this space to do something. Firstly, my capacity wasn’t to change any policies. I couldn’t you know, that’s a bigger task than what I can achieve. However, when I did research, one of the biggest things I learnt that could be of help was providing resources for people facing domestic violence, such as a fridge, a bed, linen, towels. Things like that, which feel like something small, are actually quite big. And when we bring in a community and we can all [provide] something within our space to make a difference, it becomes a big thing.”
This is where Friends with Dignity’s first home started. They called out to their community asking if people could bring in a fridge, a bed, some towels, “and… Wow. The difference we made within a week was phenomenal. And that was just [contacting] the small network I had on Facebook and people are going, yes, I can bring in a bag of groceries, and I can bring in a bag of laundry items, and we literally housed a family of four.”
United by Purpose: Creating Change Through Connection
Just as community is one of Divas values, so it is for Friends with Dignity. “The power of community, the power of connection can really make a difference to a family. This is where Friends with Dignity got established, it’s really that community space, and just networking. Making friends with people that you’d never met before through a platform of unity and [connecting] through our shared values, and our shared mission of helping somebody that we will never probably meet.”
“It’s not just the power of what the community can do, it’s the power of how we view our own contributions – not underestimating our power and our value in [thinking], you know, it’s just a kettle. No, it’s not just a kettle. It’s the kettle that will make a difference.”
“So that’s essentially what we’re doing, is just having a platform for people to make a valued contribution. We always say we are not-for-profit, but also we are not-for-loss. Changing that wording to a purpose-valued, community-based activity, [and focusing on] making a difference to people impacted by domestic violence. It just brings so much happiness, knowing that. “
This is part 1 of our interview with Manuela, so keep your eyes peeled for part 2 coming out soon. Some quotes have been edited for length and clarity. If you’d like to get involved with Friends with Dignity, there are multiple ways you can help out:
– Donations
– Donate Goods
– Volunteer
– Follow them on Instagram